Bluebird Cafe - Chelsea, London

The Bluebird is apparently the place to be seen in Chelsea. This means it's posh, pretentious and expensive. The upstairs restaurant is all of the latter. It was packed full of expensively dressed snobs. We were downstairs in the cafe, but I did have to head upstairs to use the bathroom. When in there I saw 2 little 12 year old girls applying lipstick, a woman spraying so much hairspray that I felt nauseas, and another woman plucking her eyebrows. I couldn't wait to get out and rejoin Eddy downstairs in the less pretentious cafe.

So if it's so pretentious why did we go I hear you cry. Well firstly the price for a dessert was reasonable, and secondly we wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

I had the Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream (reasonable at £5.75), and Eddy had the Apple Crumble (£5.50). I'd rate neither.

My cake was dry and the sauce far too rich. Eddy's crumble was basically baby food with crumble on top. The only good thing was the ice cream, which I suspect wasn't homemade.

The cafe also offers breakfast, pasta, fish etc... I wonder if they'd do better at that, but I'm not sure I'd go back to find out.

The Bluebird Cafe
4/10
350 King's Road
London SW3 5UU
0207 559 1000

View Larger Map

Jemaa el Fnaa - Marrakesh, Morocco

I marvelled at Jemaa el Fnaa square by night. I first arrived in the early afternoon and all I could see were people selling freshly squeezed orange juice, woman offering henna tattoos, and snake charmers.

After a shower and some mint tea at my Riad I headed back to the square. It was utterly transformed. It became one large restaurant. It was filled with the sound of cooking, lots of noisy banter, and smells of freshly cooked meats, vegetables and spices. I thought I was in a different place.

I walked through the numerous food stalls trying to decide what to eat. There were wraps on offer, tagines, couscous concoctions, soups, and even snails. So the choice was endless. I opted for a wrap which was phenomenal. It was filled with Chicken, Vegetables, Salad and my favourite spicy Harissa paste.

If you decide not to partake in the night market there are many more formal and quiet restaurants surrounding it. Some have roof terraces where you can watch the hustle and bustle from above.

I tried both, and both the restaurants and night market served great food, but the action in the market was what I went to Marrakesh for (and I loved it).

Jemaa El Fnaa
10/10
Marrakech
Morocco

View Larger Map

Rick's Cafe - Negril, Jamaica

Rick's is a bit of an institution in Negril. Dare I say a slight tourist trap. I didn't mind, it was actually very fun.

It first opened in 1974 when 'Negril was a sleepy fishing village with little development'. Over the years Rick's has had a few setbacks. First was hurricane Gilbert, which destroyed it entirely in 1988, then came hurricane Ivan in 2004 (even worse). Both times Rick's picked up the pieces, rebuilt, and continued to go strong.

The main reason to go to Rick's is to watch the sunset from high above the cliffs, or watch the jumpers plunge head first into the sea. It's a tourist attraction (they ask for money to see them jump) but it's fun none the less. Their highest platform is 35 feet high, but to be honest I preferred it when the divers jumped directly from the cliff's edge.

Separate to that is the food and extensive cocktail menu. You can get pasta such as Lobster Linguini ($22), or Caribbean Jumbo Shrimp for a cool $18, not to mention the Filet Mignon ($28). If you're in the mood for something lighter you can snack on Buffalo Wings ($8) or perhaps Jerk Chicken Skewers ($7). You can also rent a cabana for the day which would set you back between $125 to $175. This includes a bottle of rum, towels, and an appetiser.

The menu is very Westernized, which proves my point that it mainly caters to tourists. It's not a bad menu, but not authentically Jamaican, and when you head to Jamaica I think authentic is the way to go.

It is interesting that Rick's puts such emphasis on their food. When I went I got the distinct impression that everyone was there for the cocktails, sunset, and cliff jumpers.

It feels a bit like a party when you go, not really an atmosphere I care to eat in, but with that said the food was good, if not quite overpriced.

Rick's Cafe
8/10
West End
(876) 957 0380
www.rickscafejamaica.com


View Larger Map

The Criterion - Piccadilly, London

The Criterion is a long standing English restaurant set in the heart of Piccadilly Circus. It first opened as a theatre in 1870 by caterers Spiers and Pond. Over time it has evolved and grown. These days the Criterion is a bit of an institution, not so much for its food, but more for its celebrity visits and lavish Neo-Byzantine architecture.

It boasts that Winston Churchill and David Lloyd George 'thrashed out their political views' at a table there. Both The Dark Knight and Russell Crowe's film 'The Good Year' shot scenes there (to name a few). More recently I was (embarrasingly) watching The Real Housewives of New York. They too decided to film there and take in that English cliche of afternoon tea. I rest my case. So obvious girls, there are far better places to go to indulge in a cup of tea, scone, and cucumber sandwich.

Food critic James Rayner described it as one of the worst meals of 2010. Hmm, not a great start. 

When I went I had the Buffalo Mozarella with Tomato, Pesto, and a slightly odd tasting Balsamic Jelly (£11). £11 for a bit of cheese and tomato seemed a bit steep, but hey, I wasn't paying. I then had the Sea Bass with Saffron Potatoes, Peas, and Tomatoes (£26). Both of which were average. Nothing special in other words, and certainly not deserving of the price.

What I came to realise thereafter was that you are not paying for the food at The Criterion. You're paying for the experience, and the dated luxury. If you want afternoon tea dipped in English tradition I'd suggest the Ritz, not this place.

The Criterion
5/10
224 Piccadilly
London W1J 9HP
www.criterionrestaurant.com
0207 930 0488

View Larger Map

Doodle Bar/Street Kitchen - Battersea, London

The Doodle Bar is a very interesting place. Once a former dairy warehouse it is now a place that houses a bar and gallery. The bar allows you to 'doodle' all over the walls and tables, the gallery (called Testbed 1) is 'an exciting new avant garde destination for the creative industries, science and artistic individuals in London.' Each week something new is going on here.

When you walk in to this cavernous space you're struck by the immensity of it. An old broken down classic car sits in the back, covered in doodles. A ping pong table if you get bored. Very nice toilets that feel like lavish porta potties (complete with fancy hand wash and atmospheric red lighting). A very funky bar and a huge gallery space beside it. It's very urban and cool.

Next we come to the food. The food is sourced from a business called Street Kitchen. They effectively sell gourmet street food from large funky looking caravans. It was founded by celebrity chef Jun Tanaka and lesser known Mark Jankel. They pride themselves on only using organic ingredients sourced from UK farms, and this does show in their food.

Their menu changes frequently according to the produce available and seasonality. You can choose from things like soft poached eggs with roasted organic squash, crushed potatoes, baby leaf, shaved Winchester cheese, tarragon mayo and rosemary breadcrumbs for a modest £6.50. There's also crispy chicken, mackerel, and slow roasted pork, all of which come with similar accompaniments (nothing over £7.50).

To date they have 3 locations all open from 7pm to 11pm. It's worth a try as they have raised the bar for street food. No greasy or floppy burgers here.

Street Kitchen/Doodle Bar
8/10
33 Parkgate Road
London SW11 4NP
0207 223 7115
www.thedoodlebar.com
www.streetkitchen.co.uk

View Larger Map

St.Moritz Swiss Restaurant - Soho, London

I'd never had fondue before going here. It's not the most obvious of choices when going out to dinner. This was however my birthday and I had previously mentioned to my boyfriend at the time that I always wanted to try it. As a gift we went to St.Moritz. Firstly the ambience was romantic. It felt a little like a place you'd go to after a day of skiing, it was warm, candlelit, and quiet.

We had the Fondue Moitie -Moitie which consisted of melted Gruyere and Vacherin cheese, with potatoes and bread for dipping (£17.90 per person). It was delicious, if not a little filling. The richness of cheese can be overwhelming if you over indulge, and this is certainly a place to do that.

There are lots of other things on the menu (a variety of meats, fish and vegetarian options) but I can't help but ask myself why you'd go to a Swiss fondue restaurant and not have fondue?

St.Moritz
7/10
161 Wardour Street
London W1F 8WJ
www.stmoritz-restaurant.co.uk
0207 434 2889

View Larger Map

VQ24Hours - Fulham, London

This is pretty much one of the only restaurants I know of in London that is open 24 hours a day. I first heard about this place when watching a tv program on Gordon Ramsey where it mentioned that after a long shift his favourite thing to do was head to 24 to get a full English fry up.

My husband and I have been twice. Once at 3 o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon (it was empty), and once at 1am on a Monday. The second time it was half full of sloany people. 'Yah darling' could be heard from all corners, but that's no surprise considering the area. We chose to sit in booths which on both occasions were a little cramped.

There are 2 menus here. One that caters to you from 7am to 11pm and then one from 11pm to 7am. They seem identical at first glance however the difference became clear on our second visit. The day menu is slightly extortionate but the prices on the night menu are heart attack inducing. On both menus you can choose from a selection of different breakfast dishes such as Porridge (£4.50), Kedgeree (£8.95), a full English (£11.95) etc... not to mention a selection of omelettes (£7.95). You can also order burgers, hotdogs, sandwiches, salads, pasta, plates to share, and mains that include fish and chips (£11.95), steak (£17.95), and slow cooked beef ribs (£15.95).

We had the Chilli Dog (£6.50) with a side of Chips. We weren't impressed. Firstly the chips cost us £3 and the portion size was tiny. The hotdog had very little chilli and the sausage they used was a little grainy. On our second visit I had the Chilli con Carne with Rice (£10.50) and my husband had the Veggie Burger with Chips (£9.95). Firstly I could cook a better chilli, it was very mediocre at best and the rice was cold. Secondly the burger was meant to be made from falafel with hummus in it but you couldn't taste it at all. It was both bland and cold. Thank goodness for condiments. A glass of wine set us back £6.50 and the Coke was £3. Moreover they demanded a 'discretionary' service charge of 12.5% and then had the audacity to add another charge of £1.50 per person. Our bill came to a whopping £48, £8 of which were charges.

They say they're a diner but they're not. What they are is a highly overpriced restaurant masquerading as a diner. The only reason people go there is because it's the only place open late. Why else would it have been empty at 3pm when we first went?

Their breakfasts are probably alright (if Gordon says so who am I to say otherwise?), but I certainly wouldn't pay £13.95 for a full English. I'd veer away if you don't want to pay an arm and a leg for highly average and overpriced food.

VQ
325 Fulham Road
4/10

London SW10 9QL

vg24hours.com

0207 376 7224

View Larger Map