South Beach Club - Formentera, Spain

The South Beach Club is an oasis away from the vast cog that is the Insotel Hotel. It's slightly hidden away from the main part and sits directly on the beach below. It's very hip, funky and mellow.

We were at the Insotel in an 'all inclusive' capacity so we only ventured down to the SB club after dinner to indulge ourselves with their comfy sofas.

Unfortunately if you don't pay you don't get. It's confusing. You are all inclusive, the Insotel and SB bar are affiliated and linked, however it's also not part of it. We didn't understand it but we befriended a lovely bartender that had no issue with us sitting there. Bartender or not you'd still have to pay 30 euros a day for the beach bed!

Occasionally after having our buffet dinner in a 2000+ dining hall we'd pop down to the calm club to soak in the atmosphere. It was especially nice because it was always near empty. September doesn't seem like the busy time, which was nice for us, but I'm sure would also be very fun at a busier time of year.

Starters begin at 8 euros and end at around 29 for the Sushi platter. They range from things like Gaspacho or Aubergine with Scallops and Langoustine. Mains consist of Pasta dishes, Rice, Meats and Fish dishes. In my opinion the menu is very muddled. I suppose you'd call it Fusion but I always find it odd when you've got a French inspired dish such as Magret of Duck (21 euros) sitting next to the Tataki of Tuna on Shitake and Alga Wakame (23.10). Nah, pick a theme and stick with it.

Contrarily though fellow guests did comment on how nice it was so who am I to argue having not sampled the goods (I was too cheap to pay for food when I was all inclusive upstairs).

With that said I did pop down for an evening when they were serving free tapas and that was well done. Bits of Iberico, Manchego, Pan Tomaca were welcomed after our day on the boat (which incidentally we rented from the SB water sports shack next to the bar).

The thing about this place is that it's very lush. The toilets have couches in them for crying out loud and it is directly on the beach, so while you're lounging on the comfy seats you can simultaneously run your toes through the sand.

I loved it, just wish it was included in my all inclusive.

South Beach Club
9/10
Playa Migjorn, S/N
Ca Mari
07860
Formentera
Tel: +34971321800
www.southformentera.com

Es Cupina - Formentera, Spain

My view of Es Cupina will be a little unfair as I went to it when it was rented out for a wedding. This of course meant that I couldn't order from a menu. What was on offer was still very good however.

To begin with let me talk about the location because I think this is what makes the restaurant stand out. It sits modestly at the bottom of a hill right next to the sea. Not only does this mean that you know your seafood has to be fresh but it also allows you to hear the crashing waves as you eat. We didn't, the music was loud and the party too frantic, but I imagine that would be the case under less celebratory circumstances.

We began with an Octopus, Potato and Red Pepper combo that came on a wooden board for sharing. It was perfectly fine but if you can't produce a decently cooked potato then maybe you should go back to culinary school. The second plate that came out was a Goats Cheese, Tomato, Bacon tower type sandwich. It was nice but a nightmare to divide between 4 and a slightly odd thing to have at a wedding. Third came the steamed Mussels in a Mariniere sauce. I don't eat mussels but they were huge and those that did eat them said they were delicious and juicy. Fourth were the clams which came in a more garlicy sauce. Everyone scooped those up pretty quick. Finally the savoury leg of our lunch ended with Fideua. Fideua being a paella with noodles instead of rice. It originates from Valencia, as does the groom, so it was a nice touch. It was passable, nothing special, but the prawns were huge and the ratio of seafood to noodles was generous.

Later that evening we had a BBQ. Es Cupina opened up their back garden and cooked up huge quantities of steak, sausages, and pork chops. All of which came with buns, lovely sauces and beautifully roasted potatoes.

It's a place to go without doubt. The location is second to none. The food is seriously fresh and the staff are very kind.

The only down side is you have to cab it or drive to get there. I drove but I have it on good authority that the fare from the middle of the island to this restaurant would have been around 17 euros.

Es Cupina

8/10

Venda de sa Talaiassa (Platja Migjorn), S/N

07872, Pilar de la Molar, Formentera

Illes Balears

Tel: 971327221

Disco Burger (aka Va Bene) - Ibiza, Spain

You get those times in life where you just luck out. On the way to Ibiza from Formentera Eddy was going on about having a hamburger before jumping on our flight. We hopped off the ferry and wandered around for around 5 minutes before stumbling across Disco Burger.

It's a kitsch American inspired diner, with all the normal perks you'd find: a waitress with a slight chip on her shoulder, a big old mannequin holding a burger outside and decks and vinyl behind the bar.

I had the Chicken Burger, Eddy the Beef Burger (both with onions, tons of mayo, pickles). Each set us back under 6 euros. The burgers were a good size, that is to say not mammoth but big enough to fill you up so you don't feel overwhelmingly full. I especially liked that my chicken was not coated and fried, simply grilled.

Fries are a 1.50 euro extra bonus if you're so inclined. We were. They're hand cut, skins still on and covered in sea salt. They were good but the portion size was non existent. I think I had 7 on my plate.

Louis Lassen apparently invented the burger (by accident) in a lunch wagon in Connecticut in the 1900s. The story goes that he ground up beef trimmings to make a patty for a ravenous customer and then stuck it between two pieces of toast. They're still doing that today I believe, and Disco Burger are doing the same because you can choose between a burger sandwich or regular burger bun. I doubt they've done this on purpose but it's still nice.

It's a great place to stop if you fancy a burger. Certainly would head back if in Ibiza, mainly because it's the first time in a long time that I didn't feel like I'd just put on a stone after eating in a burger joint. By all accounts it seemed pretty healthy.

Disco Burger (Va Bene)
Avinguda de Bartomeu de Rossello, 15
Ibiza Town
Ibiza
Balearic Islands
07800

Pizzeria Macondo - Formentera, Spain

Macondo was my favourite restaurant in Formentera. Amidst a myriad of highly priced places it was a joy to find somewhere that was not only cheap but had very good food. We went three times during our 9 day stay and each time I ordered something different (not quite the same with my husband, he's a Calzone fiend). 

First time around we were with a huge group of people, all of whom were sharing mussels to start, followed by large pizzas. The mussels were as you'd expect when being by the sea, big and juicy with a Mariniere type sauce. The pizzas looked delicious too (however it was only on our second visit that we'd know exactly how good). They also had the most delicious and indulgent starter imaginable. It comprised of a lovely terracotta bowl filled with molten, bubbling hot cheese. With this you could dip in bread, vegetables, your hand perhaps. A steal too at under 10 euros.

After this experience we had to venture back, not only for the food, but also for the ambience and vibe of the place. It sits on a side street (the main drag of a very small town/village) and takes up the entirety of it. The lighting is great and I suggest you sit outside on the street and be ready to wait for a good 20 minutes for a table.

Second time I had the Diablo pizza and my husband of course had the Calzone. This time round it was Calzone Tony. Tony is filled with Speck, Pepperoni, Ham and 2 cheeses. It comes out looking like a huge pillow filled with meaty smelling air. It was very good and very reasonably priced. Likewise with the pizza I had (9 euros) which was wafer thin and really very good. I believe that when a slice of pizza doesn't flop and fall apart when you put it in your mouth then you're in for a treat. This one didn't flop. Good job.

And finally our last visit to Macondo comprised of yet another Calzone for my husband (this time aptly named Vegetal and filled with goats cheese, walnuts and spinach), and I went off piste and had the Tagliolini with Ragu. If you know me you'll know that I always adapt my food, usually it needs more salt and always needs more chilli. On this occasion I didn't add any salt but of course heated it up a bit. In all fairness it didn't really need it, because it was utterly delicious by itself.

At the end of the meal they offer you a shot. I wondered if that touch was a Macondo thing or a Spanish thing. I hadn't seen it anywhere else so I concluded that it was just a Macondo perk. We didn't take them up on it but everyone else did. It made me think 'no wonder everyone leaves here satisfied and merry.'

We left entirely satiated but equally saddened that we were heading back to London with no Macondo food in our near future.

Pizzeria Macondo

10/10

Calle Mayor, 3

07871, Formentera

Tel: 387065555