Byron - King's Road and in and around UK

One of my husband’s pet peeves is when you order a burger and have to order the fries separately. Whenever we go to a place that does this our dinner spirals downwards pretty rapidly. ‘I just don’t get it’ he cries ‘when the fuck did you have to start ordering your fries separately?’ he shudders. I agree with him of course, and now try to avoid restaurants that feel it’s adequate to serve you a lonely burger on a plate with nothing to accompany it. 

And so there I sat at Byron Burger with a pissed off husband with no chips. I had the Chilli Burger consisting of Green Chilli, Cheese and Chipotle Mayo (£8.95) and Eddy had the Byron consisting of Bacon, Cheese, Red Onions and Byron Sauce (£9.25).  They are generally cooked medium but I asked for well done, Eddy stayed pink. The burger was fine, filling, and utterly forgettable.The green chilli was none existent though and that annoyed me because it was the only reason I ordered that particular burger. The chipotle was undetectable to boot.

I ordered some fries to appease dear Eddy along with some Macaroni Cheese (£2.95 and £3.75 respectively). Both were average.

There are 31 Byrons in London and a few dotted around the rest of the UK. I won’t be visiting any of them.

Byron Burger

4/10

In and around London

www.byronhamburgers.com

Carwash Diner - Hurst Green, East Sussex UK

The 50's diner pastiche was overwhelming when walking into this place. Hidden behind a large carwash, you’d be hard pressed to find it unless you were actively seeking it out, maybe not such a bad thing.

It’s unashamedly gimmicky with its blue leather booths, checkered flooring, pool table and old skool jukebox. The food was equally gimmicky.

We stopped in because we were having a weekend out of London and it happened to be on route. The first notable thing was the fact it was nearly empty. A few booths were taken up with families and children but the remaining seats were cold. Not only the seats: it was warmer outside.

We sat at a booth and ordered the Chicken Burger with Tarragon Mayo (£8.95), Fried Mozzarella Sticks (£6.50) and Pulled Pork Sandwich (£8.50). The burger came with a mountain of skinny chips which is always good, but the chicken itself was bland as anything and I was hard pressed to taste any supposed tarragon in the mayo. The pulled pork was meagre and stuck between two soggy bits of Hovis  The mozzarella had been fried and allowed to cool so it had re-hardened (the waitress didn't expedite and as she walked back and forth passed the plate I could feel both the sticks and myself getting more and more tense). The sweet chilli sauce it came with was also clearly out of a jar. I'm saddened to say that an American would undoubtably scoff at all of the above.

Of course I didn’t expect much else from a diner stuck behind a carwash in the middle of nowhere, and in this instance my doubts were realised. I walked out feeling unsatisfied and wondering why they put so much effort in their decor and little on their food. I'd much rather have a killer chicken burger in an outhouse than a very mediocre one in a try-hard themed diner.

Carwash Diner

5/10

Horseshoe Garage

Hurst Green

East Sussex, TN19 7QY

Tel: 01580 860370

www.carwashdiner.co.uk

New Culture Revolution - Kings Road, London

I like New Culture because they offer reasonably priced food amidst a myriad of highly expensive restaurants. They call themselves a dumpling and noodle bar but they also serve most of the things you'd expect to find in a Chinese restaurant.

At lunch you can choose from their lesser expensive and smaller portioned menu. As expected at dinner the menu is more extensive and more expensive.

We went on a busy Tuesday night and had the Chilli Squid starter (£5.95) followed by the Beef in Black Bean (£8.90) and the Braised Beef Claypot (£8.90). The Squid was delicious, very spicy and sweet. The Beef in Black Bean was tender and sharp but to be honest I've had better at my local takeaway. The Braised Beef comes served in a Claypot with Mooli and other seasonal vegetables. The meat was tender but the broth it came in was slightly under seasoned and watery.

All in all New Culture Revolution is a good restaurant. My husband swears by it. I however think that it's nothing special, that is to say it's average food in a pleasant setting, and nothing more.

New Culture Revolution
7/10
350 Kings Road
London, SW3 5EP
0207 352 9281
www.newculturerevolution.co.uk