First Floor Restaurant - Portobello Road, London

In my opinion First Floor Restaurant is a little odd. It lies on top of a pub smack damn in the middle of Portobello Road and If you blink you’d miss it. I did, and I’ve been down Portobello more times than I’ve signed my name.

The pub downstairs looked nice enough from the outside but it gave little insight into what to expect when heading to the first floor. Struck by crisp white tablecloths, chandeliers, candles and statues we entered with a little trepidation (we only went for Sunday lunch so all of the fanciness felt a bit much). 

The bad points to begin with: Eddy was a bit bothered by the fact we were sitting in lavish settings and his knife looked like it had been wiped clean from the previous customer. A quick knife change from the table behind us solved that but shouldn’t have been needed. Also their decor was heavily reliant on melting candles. So the radiator next to us was effectively made of wax from the years of dripping that it endured. And finally the service. It was not at all bad but a tiny bit slow. The food came out pretty promptly but I saw the waitress cutting our bread and leaving it there on the side for at least 5 minutes before she brought it over. Small things, but they matter.

Eddy and I opted for the Sunday lunch, mine Chicken, his Roast Rib of Beef. The myriad of accompaniments were vast so with each bite came a new combination of flavours. My roast chicken came with a yorkie, braised red cabbage, a meagre, thin and flavourless serving of bread sauce, an annoyingly perfect disk of stuffing (give me a good dollop of steaming stuffing, it's Sunday lunch!), and all the standard veg. His was relatively similar, with the exception of a horseradish sauce, and both were not bad at £14 and £16 respectively.

My friend Rosie was there too and being a veg she was happy with the choices they had. She went for the Lentil and Quinoa Burger with Triple Cooked Chips (£11). We joked about the fact that restaurants these days feel the need to tell us that our chips are cooked three times. Does it honestly make them taste better if we know that fact? They were chips. Good and crispy, normal, standard and fine. A note to all restaurants: save the ink and just print ‘chips.’ It makes no bloody difference how you cook them if they taste good.

She was ok with it and that instigated a debate about the fact that these days you often find that going out to a restaurant is nice. It’s just nice. The food is ok, the vibe ok, the service ok, but I remember a time when going out for dinner was an experience and seemingly now if you want that you have to take out a small loan to do so or queue on a waiting list for years. Rosie works with Mr Blumenthal on commercials and states that he gave a much coveted table to a crew member. That bumps one of us down the line til 2020.

I'm very aware of my misgivings but I can say that I cook better than most restaurants I eat at. I know this, but when I go out I do so partly for the break of cooking and to review the food. And with that I can honestly say that in the last year I have been to only 2 restaurants that I’ve thought I couldn’t do better at at home.

So all in all it was nice. Just nice. The decor and opulence made it feel like more than it really was. If I had that lunch in a pub I’d review it higher but I expected more because of the surroundings. It’s an amazing building and beautifully decorated but the food didn’t live up to it’s decorative charm.

First Floor Restaurant

7/10

186 Portobello Road

London, W11 1LA

Tel: 0207 243 0072

www.firstfloorportobello.co.uk

Bull's Head - Royal Parade, Chistlehurst

Dad,

If you're looking for a dog friendly place to have a pint when you're next in Chistlehurst then try the Bull's Head. I wouldn’t rant and rave about the food, but it’s passable.

I liked my Venison Sausages although the Rosemary and Garlic Mash just tasted like potato and the Red Wine Jus wasn’t really very strong or plentiful (not bad for £10 though). I think Eddy was ok with his Fish and Chips (£11.95) but he did say that the one he had the other day at a pub near work was better. He mentioned that the Fish batter wasn’t really very crispy, which was a shame.

The funniest part though was watching Gaby’s face as she chewed and chewed, and sawed away at her Veal Chop. I felt bad for her because she loves veal and wild mushrooms and she was expecting greatness for £14.95 but was pretty disappointed.

It’s a nice place with a hotel above it. I walked past the kitchen and it looked clean, as were the toilets so if that’s anything to go by then I’d imagine the rooms are nice.

It felt like it was trying to be a little fancy for fancy’s sake, or perhaps it was simply a little confused. That’s to say as it’s so close to London it felt like it was still deciding if it wanted to be a gastropub or a country pub. It’s trying to be both at present.

I’d only go back to accommodate Chili because it’s nice having her at our feet all calm and content as we eat. I hate the idea of her being in the car while we’re eating. But that’s pretty much the only reason I’d go back.

Bull’s Head

6/10

Royal Parade

Chistlehurst, BR7 6NR

Tel: 0208 467 1727

www.bullsheadhotel.co.uk

The Bell Inn - Ticehurst, East Sussex

Hi Gabs,

We were in your neck of the woods last weekend and ended up spending the night in Ticehurst at the Bell Inn. It was gastro pub meets roaring fire country pub meets funky and well designed bedrooms. The combination worked.

As a Londoner heading to the country for a weekend I think I tend to look for 3 things: an expanse of green space, country markets and farms and a slower pace. This time I got all three.

We booked ourselves a table in the pub restaurant and good thing we did as I came to realise that on a Saturday night the Bell was indeed the place to be. To get one of their seven rooms on a Saturday night would be a feat until the end of the year but the restaurant seemed to be equally popular. 

My starter of Curried Parsnip Soup with Onion Bhaji sounded interesting but was a little bland. I always think that if you’re selling an idea of cuisine i.e: India - hot, fragrant, spiced, then you should live up to that and unfortunately this needed a lot of salt and I asked for some fresh chillies. Eddy’s Crab with Toast was wonderful however. The crab was chunky, flaky and certainly fresh. I wanted his but he didn’t want to swap!

My main of Belly Pork with Mash and Black Pudding was nice but the pork was far too fatty. The ratio of meet to fat must have been 30 to 70, which was too much for me. Everything else on the plate was perfectly fine though and I had a few bites of Eddy’s Spanish inspired Cod with Chorizo/Tomato Stew. The Cod he was given was ample and moist and the stew was flavoursome. Again he didn’t want to swap.

We ended with the Sticky Toffee Pudding. No faults to note there.

The vibe and feel of the place was pleasant and although the food was not a total hit I forgave it because the rooms and people were lovely. It came to £54 including drinks and for what we got we were happy to pay. 

The following morning our included breakfast was brilliant. My Eggs Benedict hit the spot. Eggs were perfectly runny and Eddy liked his Full English. We sat in the same spot that we’d had dinner, but this time we were alone and the sun was melting the previous nights frost. A peachy end to a lovely night.

I think the rooms were my favourite part though. They were done so well and with such thought and taste and I know some people wouldn’t love this but we revelled in being allowed to have our dog in our room with us. It was also nice to have her at our feet while we had brekkie.

The Bell Inn

8/10

High Street

Ticehurst, TN5 7AS

Tel: +44 (0) 1580 200 234

www.thebellinticehurst.com

Kurobuta Pop Up - Chelsea, London

Dear Sally,

So I must tell you about Eddy and my lunch on New Year’s Eve. We wanted to go somewhere a little more special considering the day and I found a place called Kurobuta on the King’s Road. It labelled itself as a ‘pop up’ restaurant because it was only meant to be there for a short time while their flagship restaurant in Marble Arch was getting set up.

At any rate in talking to the manager we discovered that they were a hit on the King’s Road and so were attempting to extend the lease. We didn’t care much about whether they did or didn’t, well not until we’d finished eating.

It was fantastic. Not cheap. But one of those restaurants you eat at that stays with you and that you end up comparing all others to. In actual fact every restaurant we’ve been to since has been a bit blah by comparison. 

It was a little odd at first because the manager explained that the dishes they served should be thought of more as tapas, and so 2 or 3 should be ordered per person. I could feel Eddy’s wallet getting thiner (the 2 small Lamb Chops were £15.50). 

We went forth starting with the Miso soup which was quite frankly the best I’ve had. We followed that with the aforementioned chops, and then notably the Chicken with BBQ sauce (£13), Sweet Potato Fries with a not very spicy but still delicious Jalapeño Dip (£4), and Crispy Skin Duck Confit with Watermelon (£14). A few others came and went, all delicious, all devoured.

As you know I'm not a dessert person but this one I’ve since dreamt about. Seriously, I’ve laid in bed thinking that if Eddy walked through the door with that Pistachio wonderment in toe (or hand) I’d marry him all over again.

This long rectangular plate consisted of a very clever mix of textures and flavours. Contained were Pistachios, Pistachio Cake, Chocolate Mousse, Pecans, Blackberry Candy and sour bursting fruit. I’ll just break it down because otherwise this’ll turn into an essay: Cake - moist to a fault, Mousse - rich and slightly bitter, Pecans - sweet and crunchy, the wild card of Blackberry Candy - soft like jelly, sweet (cleverly made to look like a fruit pastille), and along with the sour pops of fruit made this desert sing like your favourite singer. Just sublime.

If I could I’d go there once a week, but £90 for 2 for lunch is a little more than we can justify spending weekly. Nonetheless that hasn’t dissuaded me from returning. I’ve thought at length about the ingenuity that goes into creating a menu such as they have. They’ve mastered the art of spicy, sour, sweet and salty that Japanese food is synonymous with, but with that they’ve added texture and a little funk (not surprising considering it was opened by a Nobu chef).

It’s described as an Izakaya (a Japanese drinking establishment that also serves food) but it’s so much more than that. The food mustn’t take a back seat to the drinks, but in saying that I love the fact they put equal effort into both.

Without a doubt in my mind I’ll be back there because Mr Lease was kind to them. And with their new lease of life comes new mains. Sashimi Pizza and Wagyu Beef Sliders are part of the new ‘Junk Food Japan’ section of the menu. 

The whole thing works. They march to the beat of their own drum, and I like their beat.

Kurobuta

10/10

251 Kings Road

London, SW3 5EL

Tel: 07845594910

www.kurobuta-london.com

Pierre Herme, St Germain des Pres - Paris

Herme is dubbed the Picasso of pastry and I can see why. The shop we visited was tantamount to a museum of edible treats. He’s famous for his macaroons so that was a must. We tried the chocolate, caramel and almond (each 2 euros). The build up to trying these circles of joy was immense, so as I stood outside his shop and took my first bite I was both excited and scared it wouldn’t live up to my expectations. Unfortunately my fear was realised. Don’t get me wrong here, there was nothing wrong per say, but it was just too rich, too sweet and not the texture I had come to know and love from the ones I’d previously had.

The shop in itself was a little ludicrous. It reminded me of a very high end jewellery shop, which didn’t put it our of place on a street with shops like Max Mara and Didier Guerin. If you walked past it you’d be none the wiser to the fact it wasn’t a place to buy diamonds. It felt odd having 5 servers in a shop that was no bigger than a walk in wardrobe, and equally odd that the chocolates and cakes were securely locked in glass cabinets.

I wanted to show my husband a genuine French patisserie and unfortunately this wasn’t one. Twas a bit too la-di-da.

Pierre Hermes
5/10
72 Rue Bonaparte
75006 Paris
Tel: +33 (0)1 43 54 47 77

www.pierreherme.com

La Station Rambuteau - Le Marais, Paris

We were hungry. It was close to midnight. La Station was the only thing open. A bistro like every other on the corner of a road that offered nothing of great interest. Places like this are my favourite discoveries. The unassuming, un-publicised little gems you find by accident because you’e desperately searching for food at a late hour.

We sat outside next to an old English couple that looked liked they’d been together for more years than I’ve been alive. That was a sweet little touch and I guess added to the romance of the place.

We had the Charcuterie slash Fromage board to share. It was lovely. There was salami, coppa, serrano and a good mixture of soft and hard cheeses. It came with bread and a healthy dollop of creamy butter. It was a steal at 9 euros for the amount we got.

Our first night in Paris, our first stop for sustenance and our first culinary success. 

La Station Rambuteau

9/10

20 Rue Beaubourg

75004 Paris

Tel: +33 1 42 72 80 85

Healthy Yummies - Location Catering & Street Food, Around UK

I’d first heard of Healthy Yummies when watching the Food Network. The show was called Red Hot and Yummy and focused on the owner of the company (Nicola Smith) as she went from first client contact, to menu planning, sourcing, cooking and serving the event (attention was also given to all the obstacles she encountered during the process: truck too big for the driveway etc…) 

On TV Nicola came across as very down to earth and approachable. A boss you’d like to work for kinda person. With vivacious red hair and always sporting a 50’s housewife headscarf, she seemed far from boring. Her vision was to own a van in which to serve good, seasonal and healthy food and with serious dedication, long hours, a touch of luck and a marketable idea Healthy Yummies was born.

The episode that cemented my liking for her was one in which she was hired to cater for a Jamie Oliver shoot. She was highly excited about the prospect of meeting him and planned a healthy yet scrummy sounding menu. At crunch time Mr 15-minute-meals only asked for a bacon sandwich and moreover had one of his minions get it. Much to Nicola’s dismay he didn’t eat her food or show his face. Ho Hum.

I met Nicola when she was serving her creations alongside her 1970s Bedford Ice Cream Van. She later told me she named it Elvira May to commemorate her grandmother who helped her buy it and sadly passed 2 days after she got it. 

I chose the lettuce cup which was filled with slow cooked black beans, tomato salsa, sour cream, a beetroot puree, coriander and a specially sourced cheese. Sounds simple enough but when done well simple food can be the best. The beans were deliciously meaty, the salsa was well seasoned and had a nice kick, and the beetroot puree was sweet, smooth as butter and somewhat comforting. All in all it was the best thing I had all day. 

Nicola was clever in her choice of menu too, she told me she opted for veggie as the other menus were heavily meat based. This approach allowed her plates to be healthier, both in calories and size. What I had was packed with flavour and colour, ample, and I really didn’t miss the meat.

And although Nicola’s company is called Healthy Yummies I think it would be fair to say that yes, they are conscious of the healthy aspect of the food they produce but that in no way means they compromise on oomph. Take a look at their sample menu (http://www.healthyyummies.com/sample-menus/lunchdinner/). I wouldn’t pass up the chance to try any of those things and I certainly wouldn’t consider myself sacrificing anything for health or dietary reasons. Would you consider a breakfast of ‘black pudding, apple chutney and spelt bread’ a chore, or a lunch of ‘beef fillet, jerusalem artichoke and sloeberries’ hard to swallow? Nah

You can find Nicola’s new and somewhat larger truck (named Theo after her nephew) at food fairs like the Good Food Show where I met her, or indeed you could hire them.

Healthy Yummies

9/10

90 De Beauvoir Road

London N1 4EN

Tel: 0207 275 7120

www.healthyyummies.com